It's a matter of degrees
If you stood at the North Pole and headed for the South Pole, but your bearings were off by a mere 1°, you would never reach your destination. You would in fact spiral around...
About
My name is Martyn. I'm a grumpy old bugger, and that's putting it mildly. This collection of writings is my attempt to make sense of how a youth who showed so much promise - captain of the football team, lead in the school play, top exam scores - ended up a broke, single, unemployed 60-year-old living in his childhood bedroom.
The short answer? By degrees. One small failure at a time, chipping away at a psyche already damaged by an undiagnosed neurological condition.
At 47, a serendipitous series of events led me to a study that provided me with a diagnosis: ADHD+. It was too late, the blueprint of my life was already set. At 53 they translated the "+" into "High Functioning Asperger's".
Now, at 60+, with the 'gift' of social isolation and emotional clarity, I can finally take a sober look at the carnage that was my life and seek the answer to that one burning question:
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?
These writings are my therapy, I exhausted any faith in counsellors after years of diagnosis roulette, and finding and paying for a Psychologist, the optimum solution, is an impossible dream. So my solution is to write it down. It's primarily for me as a tool for reflection so there will be edits and updates as my thinking evolves. And no, you don't get to be offended. If you don't like what you read, stop reading.
I'm making them public because I am aware there are still a lot of people struggling to find the help they need, struggling to even be believed and taken seriously. So for them I hope these writings can at least help them feel less alone in their fight for balance, and maybe they will find a gem or two to help them on their journey.
Since I'm sharing this publicly, I've made an effort to make it engaging. But let me be clear: I'm not here to make you feel good. To make you feel? Hopefully. But good? Doubtful.
Welcome to my world.
Latest Posts
When the cure is worse than the disease
"It wasn't until the webpage suddenly changed from the freight company's website to a page full of photos of people being totally inappropriate with their dogs that the penny ...
A collection of ramblings
This is a series of prose(?) that came to me as I was processing the implosion of my second relationship. It was during this time I received the High Functioning Asperger's di...